Monday, September 16, 2013

The prettiest flower

"Blow a ball of dandelion, and you blow a thousand stars into the sky."
- Stars, Mary Lyn Ray

Three years ago at this time in September, I was heavily carrying a child inside me. But more than that, I was also carrying a dream - a dream of a simple future with this little one, chasing squirrels, sniffing flowers, and singing silly songs, a dream of being a loving mom.  I can tell you that there is nothing sweeter than to live as I do now; that dream is a dream no more.

Tamar was at the NICU for 9 days because she was born a preemie.  Everyone who knows me know how that was the toughest time in my life.  The good staff at Virginia Hospital Center were gracious enough to let me stay and sleep with my little one for 8 nights.  For one night, my husband dragged me out of the hospital to rest at home.

Fast forward to present, and my little one has grown so much. She's playing dress-up, jumping off the couch (which scares the living daylight out of me), chasing squirrels, sniffing flowers, and singing silly songs.

Yesterday, out of the blue, she said "I want to look for dandelions". I don't know why I found that one sentence so sweet. What was she thinking? What made her say that? With summer flying by so quickly, and the fall chill in the air... Should I tell her the truth? I did. I told her, "Sorry, sweetie, dandelion season is over." Then I went upstairs to nurse Maya, while she went for a walk with Eric.  When we came back out to join them, she beamed at me on top of Eric's shoulders, and said. "Look, mommy, it's dandelion."

The last dandelion of the season. Make a wish, my dear.

Shows you what I know, right? 

She sat on the floor for a while holding the prettiest flower of all. And I, I stood rooted, staring at mine.

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